Parents who care about their children always want to learn how to teach a teenager respect and discipline, and this is very commendable. Thus, are you a parent that desires to show your child the right path to tread? Have you been finding it too difficult to do and almost about to give up? Well, I won’t blame you if you wish to give up because teaching a teenager how to be disciplined and respectful isn’t a small task. This is because, at this stage, they find it difficult to accept the opinion of people above their age. They often feel they are right at all times.
But you know, you can’t give up on any teen because they barely understand the consequences of not being disciplined and respectful, hence, it’s your duty as a parent or guardian to keep teaching them until they come to accept.
It’s quite difficult, that’s obvious but there’s always a way out and that’s what you would be getting from this article. Stay put and get all the information you need to lead your teenager through the right path.
How to Teach a Teenager Respect And Discipline
Here are some positive ways to teach your teenager discipline and respect:
1. Lead the way while they follow
This is one major way to teach a teenager respect and discipline. Charity, they say, begins at home. It’s very expedient that you live by example as a parent or guardian. You are their first role model and if your words don’t synchronize with your actions, they will find accepting your advice difficult.
Ensure you respect the elderly as well as practice discipline in all areas of your life. These teens are great at observing, they might not show it immediately but they have a way of keeping records.
If you are consistent enough, they will begin to copy your way of life consciously and unconsciously and that will make your heart merry, I tell you.
Also Read: Effective House Rules for Teenagers
2. Do away with anger
Teenagers do lots of annoying things, hence, your getting angry is very much understandable. While it’s understandable, it’s not the best approach. When dealing with teenagers, you must learn how to negotiate instead of shouting because shouting has never been a solution when teenagers are concerned.
Another thing you need to note, teenagers are super comfortable with parents that try to understand them via communication than those that use the autocratic mechanism.
3. Correct not condemn
There’s a thin line between these two. The line is so thin that you can barely know when you make a switch. This is why you must be careful to ensure you are not doing the latter thinking you are doing the former.
If your teenage child misbehaves, call him up and specifically address what he has done that isn’t right, and ensure you make him understand that you are picking at his actions and not his personality. You can even go ahead to mention areas you feel he is doing well. That way, he will know you aren’t only after his faults.
4. Hear them out
They are teens with different ways of thinking. This is why it’s advised that you make out time to listen to their opinions. While your teen speaks, make effort to understand where he’s coming from and what his intentions are. If he realizes that you really want to understand him, he will feel more relaxed and receptive.
5. Watch their company of friends
No matter how far you go with teaching your teen discipline and respect, if your teen mingles with people who don’t see the need to be disciplined, your effort will be a waste.
While trying so hard to inculcate these virtues into your teen, ensure he keeps good company that will help propagate your teachings.
Also Read: How to Deal with a Narcissistic Teenager
6. Strive to improve your relationship with your teen
This is will help you improve your approach to teaching your teenager respect and discipline. Trying to help your teen understand and learn how to respect or stay disciplined wouldn’t be a hard task if you have a great relationship with him. You will find it difficult to do if he feel you don’t care about him.
As a parent, you should be your teen’s number one ally, especially at this stage when he can easily misunderstand things. If you are his friend, he will better understand that you mean well and will accept your teachings faster.
7. Set rules
Hope you know that teens will like to push you so hard to see what your actions would be. Hence, even before they misbehave, set clear house rules alongside their consequences.
The rules must be lucid and understandable so that they won’t feign ignorance, and ensure you maintain them. You can as well have them suggest consequences for every rule. That way, they will have them in their subconscious.
8. Stick to the plan
Avoid inconsistency in dishing out consequences. That would make you look weak before your teen and trust me, they would take your rules for granted if you don’t maintain them.
Whenever they break rules, ensure you get them to suffer corresponding consequences. That will help them understand that you are super serious with your words.
Consequences For Disrespectful Teenagers
There are lots of consequences you can attach to your rules as a parent but you must not forget that the goal isn’t to punish your teen but to help him understand the importance of being respectful and staying disciplined at all times.
Below are some appropriate consequences for your teenager:
1. Try Physical labour
While this isn’t superb for girls, it’s somewhat perfect for boys. Try making him do the work for two people and ensure he completes the task before letting him go. This works too well especially if he does not enjoy physical stress.
You can have him do the dishes as well as clean your apartment. The aim is to have him do stuff that he doesn’t enjoy doing on a normal day.
2. Try unusual silence
While this doesn’t work for all teens, it will work on your teen if you both are very close or if you live alone with him. If he breaks the rule, ensure you make him notice that you know what he did. Then, give him the silent treatment. He will do all he can to get your attention but don’t give in until he willingly apologizes or fixes his mess.
3. Restrict privileges
Your aim won’t be achieved if you restrict privileges that don’t mean a thing to them. Settle for a privilege that will affect them deeply if withdrawn. You can deprive your teenage boy of watching a seasonal football match if he loves football a lot. As for your teenage girl, reduce her wardrobe allowance if she’s fashionable.
4. Make them apologize
Whenever they disrespect their elders, make them apologize no matter what. They may do it nonchalantly but they won’t forget it easily. This works well on teens that have low peer pressure influence.
When they apologize, sit them down and explain to them why you asked them to apologize. Don’t use curse words and also remind them that you love and value them.
How To Discipline A Teen Who Does Not Care About Consequences
If your teen is adamant about the consequences of his actions, here are ways to turn him in:
1. Let them know what you except
When you set house rules for your teens, ensure you make them very understandable as well as the consequences. If possible, put your rules in written form and place them in a corner of the house that can’t be overlooked.
2. Allow nature to have its way
Nature has a way of enforcing its consequences on humans and that includes your teen. Sometimes, allow nature to have him pay for his sins instead of shouting or scolding. This isn’t too advised though because most times, natural consequences are difficult to reverse and painful to bear.
Before you adopt this, look to know if the consequences will permanently negatively affect your teen’s future or not. If it will, kindly adopt other effective approaches.
3. Let them handle it
This works almost all the time. If your teenage girl causes havoc by disrespecting an elder, allow her to dance to the music. Oftentimes, the reason teens repeat what they are asked not to do is that they know that their parents would always come to their rescue when the going gets tough.
So, allow your teens to handle the consequences of their actions. That experience will always remind them not to tread the same path even if they wish to.
Conclusion: How to Teach a Teenager Respect and Discipline
When correcting your child, instilling discipline and respect, point out how their actions or words were disrespectful, and ask your child to think of something that he or she could have said or done that would be more polite. This way, you are not only correcting the teenager but also providing the opportunity for your child to learn and practice valuable life skills.
When you set limits for your teenager, even if they protest, which they will, the message it sends to them is that they are loved and cared for and that you want them to succeed in life.
Your teen may not thank you now, but that’s fine because it is not about getting them to thank you but about doing the right thing and leading them on the right path.
