Narcissistic Teenager: How To Deal With A Narcissistic Teenager

Does your teenage girl focus more on herself or care less about how others feel? Does she pay attention to her looks and always praise herself for looking beautiful? If she does, she’s a narcissist.

The teenage stage is known to be a rebellion stage but with a narcissistic teen, it’s super difficult to handle. Not to worry, this article bears a solution that will help the situation. But before then, you must ensure your teen is a narcissist for real by looking out for signs that tell that she is.

What is Teenage narcissism? Teenage Narcissism refers to a state of mind where a teenager starts thinking extremely highly of him or herself and their physical looks. They tend to become self-centered, always talking about their looks, talents, and capabilities without being empathic towards others.

Below is a list of signs that will help this process:


What are the Signs of a Narcissistic Teenager?

Narcissistic teens have a lot in common and these traits are super easy to notice. If you suspect that your teen is a narcissist, these signs will help to confirm your suspicion. They include:

1. Little or no concern for other’s feelings

If your teen doesn’t care about how others feel when doing a thing, it’s a sign that she’s a narcissist. Narcissists, most times, don’t know how they make others feel, and even after being told, they often feel less concerned.

Listen to your teen’s conversation with her siblings, and pay close attention to how she relates with her friends. You can even plead with the class teacher to help with this process.

2. Constant desire to always be on top

There’s nothing wrong in wanting to rise and remain at the top but when it becomes too much, it becomes dangerous. If your teen strives so hard to remain relevant even at the detriment of someone else, she is a narcissist.

3. Self-centeredness

This is one of the common signs that tell that someone is a narcissist. If you notice your teen always does things that will favour her even though it hurts others, you are safe to call it narcissism. Whenever you see a narcissist doing something that seems charitable, dig deep and you will find out that there’s a worthy reason behind that action.

4. Jealousy.

They find rejoicing when another person has what they desire to have difficult. This is because of the internal longing to be in the spotlight at all times. If your teen frown at siblings’ achievement, quickly begin to find ways to help that teen out of the situation because she’s exactly a narcissist.

5. Assumes that they are unique and special

Their ego or pride is always on the high side and they can’t hide it even if they want to. You can easily spot this by observing the kinds of people she hangs out with. They often avoid people of the lower social strata because they believe that they are special breeds.

6. Difficulty in maintaining relationships

They find it difficult to make friends and when they do, it won last long. This is often due to their attitude towards others; they don’t fancy commitment, and they don’t believe that other people deserve to be respected.

This results in moving from one relationship to another and it’s not healthy at all. If you see your teen changing friends from time to time, she may be a narcissist that can’t keep one person or a group of people close to her for a long time.

7. Never admit that they are at fault

This is one of the many characteristics of narcissism. They will never accept that they are at fault even when it’s obvious that they are. They would always go the extra mile to prove to you that they are not guilty as charged even if it means employing a dubious strategy.

When you notice this odd behaviour in your teen, know that he or she is displaying a narcissistic characteristic but before you conclude, wait to see other signs.

8. Never take Responsibility

It’s common among narcissists. They don’t accept responsibility, talk less of doing something about it. This is often because they believe that they are special and that they aren’t supposed to take care of anything.

Don’t be shocked to hear your son say, “he’s all that matters” repeatedly. It’s a good sign that he is a narcissist and you do all you can to curb it while he’s in his teenage stage.

9. Difficulty in tolerating stress

They can’t face difficult situations squarely. They often complain and do close to nothing to remedy the situation. Rather than fix the problem, they prefer to blame people close to them and even dump everything and walk away if they can.

Stress also makes them difficult to be with. They often become more aggressive under tension. Pay attention to your teen to find out how well he manages stress.


Also Read: How to Discipline a Teenager Who Doesn’t Care About Consequences 


What Causes Teenage Narcissism

Children who are overly pampered by their parents and relatives often grow up to become narcissists. Hence, it’s safe to say that A  environment contributes to making teenagers narcissists. When a child is overvalued above other kids in the house, they often grow to feel that they’re better than everyone around them.

Teenage narcissism can be caused by a variety of factors which include:

1. Family history of narcissism:

Cases of narcissistic personality disorder in the family may point to a higher risk of developing it.

2. Inattentive parents

Poor parenting such as excessive criticism, over-pampering, adoration, and overprotective parenting, can lead to faulty thinking and a high rate of narcissistic behaviour.

3. Emotional abuse

Bullying in school or at home can cause a child to develop narcissistic tendencies to cope with insecurities and emotional wounds.

4. Physical illness affecting the brain

Personality changes can be caused by illnesses that affect the brain. This could be from an infection, tumour, or hormonal imbalances.

5. Society

Researchers have pointed out that a celebrity-saturated culture and environment that emphasizes the rich and famous while under-stressing good old virtues like kindness, cooperation, and helpfulness, is another cause.

6. Social Media

A social network is a great place for a teen who feels more entitled to draw attention to himself and promotes and show the world how great he is.


How to Deal With a Narcissistic Teenager Son

1. Be a role model

It all begins with you as a parent or guardian. If you want your teens to drop their narcissistic attitude, you must first drop yours. Ensure you are accommodating to others, and while at it, make your teens see what you are doing and why you are doing it.

2. Help them build empathy

The ability to feel for others isn’t entirely innate, it can be learned. Help your teen understand that the feeling of their fellow human is equally important and must be taken into consideration.

You can do this by allowing them to put themselves in others’ shoes. Devise a means to help your teen understand that although they are special, others are special as well. Results might not show up faster but if you’re consistent enough, your teen will begin to care for others in no time.

3. Engage them in charity work

Expose your teens to volunteering. Let them go out there and see things for themselves. If your teens do not feel for others, take them to a remote part of your country and allow them to mingle with their age mates who are not as privileged as they are.

Have them distribute food items, clothing, and other equipment. After the exercise, ask them questions like, “How do you feel seeing people of your age in that situation? Will you be able to handle hunger for a whole day?

4. Avoid over-praising your teens

Showering praises on your teens when they do something commendable is fine but going overboard with it amounts to feeding their pride fat and that’s not fine at all.

Instead, congratulate them on their win, gift them if you must, and stop at that. Also, ensure you do the same for each of your teens and not just for one of them.

5. Praise effort not intelligence

It’s very easy to praise intelligence when your teens excel at a thing but it’s not the right step to take because it will only feed their pride and make them see themselves as better than others. Instead of praising intelligence, praise the effort they made to achieve what they achieved.

In praising effort over intelligence, you are indirectly letting them know that anyone can achieve what they achieved if they put in the same effort. That way, they will understand that everyone can win.

6. Don’t get so much involved in their affair

As a parent, you might want to show your teens just how much you love them by trying so much to help them fix certain challenges. You will be messing with their self-esteem indirectly if you do. When their self-esteem is messed it, inferiority complex sets in. To measure you, they resort to narcissism.

Allow your kids to take decisions equal to their age. If they make mistakes allow them to fix them. That will boost their esteem so much that they will not see the need to put others down to shine.

7. Assign Chores

When they are pretty little, you took care of everything. Now they are grown, you will be causing major damage if you don’t assign chores to them.

Have them do their laundry, wash dishes, make their beds, and take care of their environment while you do the monitoring. That way, they won’t put themselves over anyone out there.

8. Correct them

When your teens begin to display their narcissistic characteristics, don’t keep quiet about them or shut them up. Instead, correct them quietly. Remind them of what they did and how it affects the people around them. Ensure you condemn their actions, not their personality to avoid hurting their esteem in the long run.

9. Set strong house rules and maintain them

Once you notice your teens are narcissists, ensure you set rules that will be guiding your household. It will help restrain your teens from misbehaving. Also, ensure you attach consequences to each rule and maintain them no matter what.

10. Consult a professional psychologist

If you’ve tried all you can to help the situation and it didn’t work the way you expected, consult a professional psychologist. He will look into the situation and help to bring your teen back to normal.

Also Read: Harmful Effects Of Mobile Phone On a Child


Conclusion On Narcissistic Teenager

Taming your narcissistic teenagers isn’t an easy task but it’s worth it. Once you notice that your teen is a narcissist, try out all the tips listed here and if they prove abortive, consult a trained psychologist as soon as possible. Ensure that your teens are reminded of how much you love them that way, they will be very receptive.