A lot of parents have complained saying “my 3 Year Old Behavior Is Out Of Control! And asking what to do! Relax, and read through this content to the end! So, are you among those parents? Is your 3 year old behavior out of control? Don’t worry, this post will guide you on the best ways to handle this condition.
My 3 Year Old Behavior Is Out Of Control: Here Is What to Do
So many parents are struggling with their toddlers’ behavior. It is either the toddler is hitting, not listening, is mean, aggressive, talks back, or is deliberately disobedient or won’t listen to anything you say. We will show you how to discipline your 3-year-old when their behavior is out of control.
How Do I Deal With An Out Of Control 3 Year Old Baby?
Does your 3-year-old totally ignores what you say? Does he/she yell “I don’t care”? Does time out and taking privileges away does nothing anymore? Does he/she bites or scratches when they don’t get what they want? Do they go into full blown tantrums almost every day? Has it gotten so bad that you can’t take them out anymore?
Don’t worry, continue reading to see how best to handle the situation. You know that your 3 year old behavior is out of control when everything is a fight with him/her.
Their moods are unpredictable, you can’t count the emotional outburst daily, they won’t eat their meals, they won’t share, and they insist on having things done their own way.
Also Read: Must Know Reasons You Should Not Use Pillow for your Baby
Here are some of the best ways to deal with this situation.
1. Make sure you are always calm
Make sure you are calm, staying calm should be your goal during your child’s tantrums or misbehaviors. They are happy with the reaction they get when they misbehave. So don’t give them that joy.
When you stay calm during your child’s tantrums and misbehaviors, and don’t focus on that only, you will be able to keep your cool.
You may be asking why should you focus on being cool instead of fixing the naughty behavior of your child. Well, the truth of the matter is that your child’s behavior is the reflection of how you are behaving.
If you are calm and more collected, their chances of misbehavior will be less. He/she will be less likely to want to ruffle your feathers or feel agitated.
Also, the more worked up or agitated your child is, the calmer you should be. This will teach your child how to control their own feelings. And the best way to teach your 3 year’s old this skill is to model this behavior for him/her.
So this means that the goal is not to correct him/her for talking back or to stop the tantrum but to be patient and calm even when their behavior irritates you.
Another thing with staying calm is that it will give you the clarity to take the right step. You will know what to do next.
So don’t snap, yell, threaten, or say something that you will regret later. Just focus on staying calm.
If you are tired and feeling guilty for having lost your temper in the past, don’t feel bad and know that you’re not alone. Even if you feel like you’ve tried everything and it’s not working, you can try staying calm.
You can stay calm in the midst of any storm, it all starts from the inside. All changes come from within. You also need to learn how to manage your trigger, temper, and habits.
Know what to do when you feel that rush of anger swelling inside you.
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2. Mean what you say
Is your 3 year old fond of blowing off your warnings? Does he/she continue to do something that you’ve repeatedly warned them against? The issue may be that you don’t follow through with consequences.
Your toddler hasn’t experienced consistent consequences, so this is what is encouraging this disobedient behavior.
From now on, you have to mean what you say and ensure that you follow through with what you have said that you would do.
For instance, if you warn him/her that you will leave out story time if the behavior continues and they still do it. Follow through and leave out story time. Leave the library like you said you would do, don’t mind their protest or anything else.
Always be consistent and don’t just keep to your words when you feel like doing so and let things slide on other days.
Being consistent and sticking to your words will reduce their likelihood of them disobeying you because they now know that you always mean what you say.
3.Give your 3 years old simple choices
Doing this will give your toddler a sense of control and autonomy. Children have emotions like adults too. Imagine someone determining most of your day, from what you eat and put on to when you leave the house.
You would feel like nothing you suggest or say matters, most especially when you are not asked for your opinion.
So, in order not to make your child feel this way, you can give him/her simple choices to give them a sense of control, autonomy, and a sense of belonging.
Here are a few factors to consider when going about giving you Baby Choices:
a. Give only two choices and not more than 2 because he/she will feel overwhelmed or they will take too much time to make their decision.
b. You should be okay with any choice they make, no matter which one they pick but you should stick to parent-approved choices.
c. Respect their choices. If they pick one over the other, don’t say “No”, or try to convince her otherwise. Follow through with the choice they make. That will make them trust you more.
d. Don’t offer choices all the time because that will teach your toddler that everything warrants a choice. You should only give choices when you feel that he or she needs to feel heard, loved, or understood.
Also Read: How to Keep Baby Warm At Night Without Swaddling
4. Praise their positive behaviors
One of the best ways to manage your toddler’s behavior is to ask for help. You may be tempted to label her as a trouble maker or to focus only on her misbehaviors, meanwhile, she is simply living up to your expectations.
He/she may even be doing that to get your attention. But focus less on the negative behaviors, focus more on the positive ones and praise him/her.
When you start doing this, you will notice more of her positive behavior because she will start behaving well to get more attention from you. [Read: How to Promote Positive Behavior In a Child]
Here are a few ways to praise the positive behaviors of your toddler:
- Ask them for help, they will be surprised but this will give them the feeling of being responsible to help and contribute.
- Give them autonomy. Allow them to do their tasks in their own way. This will even help them find expression and show their creativity. Do this when you know that it will not affect the end result.
- Praise them for the good they do but overlook the choices they make.
5. Spend time alone with your 3 years old
Spending one-on-one time with your child will help prevent negative behaviors and strengthen the bond between you two.
Don’t expect your 3 years old to walk up to you and say “mum/dad, I’m having a bad day, I’d really need some hugs/comfort”. He/she will not be able to say it clearly even if that’s how they feel.
He/she will result to acting out to get your attention because you didn’t give it to them. So try and have time alone with your toddler every day. The time spent together don’t have to be long, it can be 10 minutes of snuggling in the morning and this can be all they need to start their day on the right tone.
When you spend time together, give them 100% of your attention, don’t check your phone or be engaged in other chores.
6. Let them play
Include plenty of play time in your child’s schedule, and this should also include outdoor plays. Children will have downtimes when they have busy schedules with no time to play. And this can influence their behavior.
During the play time, give them absolute control over what to play and how to play. Also, encourage them to play outdoor, keeping them indoors always will make them agitated, and they won’t be able to expel their built-up energy.
Allow them play in nature, it will give them a feeling of calm.
Also Read: How to Promote Positive Teenage Behavior
7. Focus on the most offending behavior of your toddler
If your child has many bad behaviors and it is driving your crazy, a way to go about this, is to just pick his/her most offending behavior and focus on that only while you allow the others slide, at least for the main time.
For instance, if his most offending behavior is talking back to you, you can set expectations on how you want to be treated. Or you put your foot down on his tone of voice.
You can show him better ways of communicating how he feels and check to see if you are modelling the right behavior to your toddler. While dealing with this, all other negative behaviors can take a back seat.
Move to the next offending behavior after you’ve dealt with this one. And also, fixing the biggest problem will likely solve the other issues as well.
8. Use Positive language on your child
Kids are more likely to comply when you use positive language. Here are a few ways to use positive language when talking to a 3-year-old.
- Instead of saying “stop yelling” say “use your inside voice”
- Use “pat the baby gently like this” instead of saying “don’t be rough”
- Say “let’s use this soft ball to play instead” instead of saying “don’t play with that”.
9. Ensure your child is getting enough sleep
Do you know that children’s behavior are tied to the number of hours of sleep they have at night? If nothing here works, try and look at their sleep quality.
Does she go to bed early? Does she sleep for long hours? Does she sleep through the night or have interrupted sleep? Is she also waking up at a descent hour?
The more quality sleep children get, the better their behavior. They can cope better with emotional challenges.
10. Ask yourself “why?”
You have to ask “Why” when dealing with your child’s behavior. Looking for how to fix the issue will not bring lasting solutions, it may even get worse. You need to know why they are acting this way in the first place.
Ask yourself why your toddler is behaving this way. What is causing the outburst? Is she tired? You will help your child the best if you learn how to ask insightful questions.
Common 3-Years Old Behavior Problem
3-year-old behavior problems are many, but despite the behavior problem you are facing with your child, these tips above can help.
Some of the common behavior problems in 3 year old (that could get out of control) are:
- The use of abusive language
- Disrespect and talkbacks
- Violent or aggressive behaviors
- Lying
- Bullying
- Manipulation
- Laziness and lack of motivation
- Behavior problems in schools
Conclusion On “My 3 Year Old Behavior Is Out Of Control”
You will get help from the tips given above. And if the situation persists, you can consider talking with a therapist and even take your child for therapy. You can list several ways your 3 year old’s behavior is out of control, and then try focusing on the most offending one first and see how things improve, rather than complaining and shouting at them for all of the negative attitudes all at once.
