As a mother, it is difficult to comprehend why your husband gets angry when baby cries. In fact, it can even cause you to start developing some thoughts about him.
However, as frustrating as this may be for you, you need to be calm. I have been there before, and trust me when I say it isn’t as it seems. Your husband loves the baby and loves you too, but somehow, men are not wired like women.
This article will discuss how you can handle the situation the right way. Then, through a step-by-step analysis, you will understand what to do when you notice your husband gets angry when baby cries.
Let us get to it and provide answers to all your questions about this topic, shall we?
Why Does Baby Crying Make Dad Angry?
This is one question every mother in your shoes would ask. I asked the same question, over and over. But after extensive research and guidance, I found out the reasons why many dads get angry when baby cries.
Frankly speaking, it is not entirely their fault, and I personally began to feel some guilt for my earlier reactions to my husband. Below, we have highlighted five reasons why baby crying can make a dad angry.
5 Reasons Why Baby Crying Makes Dad Angry
1. Men are Not Natural Caregivers
At some point, we have got to accept the fact that men are not natural caregivers. Women are wired specially to offer care and love – an attribute that men do not naturally possess.
So, before you begin to react to your husband’s attitude, try to understand the situation. He is built differently and does not have the patience and endurance of a mother.
Come to think of it, to be sincere, the persistent cries of a baby can be irritating to some. The major reason why you are able to absorb it is that you were created uniquely to do so. This remains one of the major trait advantages women have over men.
2. He is Stressed and Can’t Handle It
Having a newborn baby can cause both physical and emotional stress. So yes, mothers are not only the ones who encounter stress after the birth of a baby.
The change in life patterns and lifestyle can cause a lot of stress for the father – as well as the mother. However, women are better at absorbing stress than men, so it is normal if you notice your husband angry when baby cries.
Stress can lead to many underlying issues, so you should do what you can to understand that your husband is battling stress. His anger doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or the baby.
3. The Baby Rejects the Father’s Comfort
So, let’s create a scenario here. Imagine a dad trying to comfort his crying baby on repeated occasions, but rather than calm the baby, the baby cries even louder.
Men do not like being rejected. So, naturally, when he hears the baby cry, he is bound to have some level of anger. This is because, in his mind, he is questioning the baby’s crying and saying to himself, ‘why are you crying when you won’t allow me comfort you?’
So, a dad may express anger when a baby is crying if the baby usually rejects the dad’s comfort.
4. Mothers Have the Breastfeeding Advantage
Breastfeeding creates a strong connection between a baby and the mother. This bond makes it somewhat impossible for the mother to see any wrong in the baby’s actions.
So, there is a hundred percent chance that you would feel angry yourself if you were in your husband’s shoes.
The next time you find yourself thinking of how heartless and irrational your husband is for getting angry when baby cries, remember that you have an advantage. You have a unique connection with the baby which no one else can experience. This may not seem like a lot to you, but trust me when I say it is a lot – and it matters a lot.
5. The Dad is Confused About What to Do
Interestingly, one reason why your husband may get angry when baby cries is because he is frustrated and doesn’t know what to do. He is used to being the alpha male around the house – someone who can handle anything and everything.
So, there is bound to be some emotional challenge from frustration when he finds out that he cannot do anything about his crying baby.
This is especially when he has tried comforting the baby on many occasions, but it just seems that nothing he does seems enough. The confusion from such a scenario can make him angry when baby cries.
What to Do When Husband Can’t Handle Baby Crying
It can be frustrating when you find out that your husband cannot handle baby crying. When faced with such a situation, you should try your best possible to handle things maturely.
If you make a mistake in handling the situation, you may end up developing a hatred for your husband, which is a threat to your marriage.
The first thing I always advise women to do in a situation such as this, is to remain calm. Try your best possible to understand your husband’s situation and develop a resolve to assist him to get better.
Help him to relax more around the baby, and engage in fun things which he loves to do. It may also help for you to talk to him about it so that you can both make conscious efforts to make things better.
Also, always try your best possible to make your baby comfortable around your husband. Initiate play activities that involve the three of you and be around the baby when she is with your husband to instill confidence.
What to Do When Your Baby Makes You Angry?
Is it normal for your baby to make you angry? The answer is yes! You are not alone, and there are millions of parents who feel angry and frustrated by their babies.
You need to know that this is normal, so do not beat yourself about it or feel guilty. We are all humans, and are prone to frustration, irritation, and anger – yes, even from your baby.
However, it would be best if you put it under control – especially with how you react. No matter how old your baby is, you should try your best possible not to shout at them.
Medical experts advise that whenever your baby (or child of whatever age) makes you angry, you should count slowly from one to ten before reacting. Also, whenever you shout at your baby, always make sure to apologize to them and pet them afterward.
READ ALSO: Tips to Baby Proofing Your Apartment
Why Husbands Get Frustrated With Crying Babies Faster than Moms?
Naturally, women are calmer than men, and on any occasions, they are able to make more rational decisions.
Husbands get frustrated with crying babies faster than moms because they are often easily stressed and tend to transfer aggression faster.
Also, another reason why husbands get more frustrated with crying babies is that they are often not prepared. A girl child preps herself for motherhood all her life. It is a common sight to see little girls adopt toys as their babies from a very young age, so they are prepared.
On the other hand, men seldom prepare themselves to be fathers. Most times, when it happens, they become overwhelmed and lost on how to handle the situation adequately.
Why Is It Easier for Mom to Comfort Crying Baby than Husband?
We all know that a mother’s arms are the most comforting place for a crying baby, but why is this so? What does a mother have that a father doesn’t?
Why is it easier for moms to comfort a crying baby than the husband? Well, the answer is not far-fetched when we consider the psychological, emotional, and physical connection between a mother and her baby.
Again, as we mentioned earlier, mothers have the breastfeeding advantage that fathers and husbands do not possess. Mothers are able to breastfeed babies, which is comforting for the baby, so once the baby is in the mother’s arm, they expect comfort.
Lastly, there is a scientific advantage to it also. According to experts, when a mother carries her baby in her arms, there is hormonal communication between the baby and the mother. This also contributes to the comfort that the baby experiences – something they cannot get from their fathers.
My Husband Gets Angry When Baby Cries – What Should I do?
We have highlighted some tips for you to consider in helping him build his patience with your crying baby. Check them out!
Tips for Helping Your Husband to Be More Patient Handling a Crying a Baby
Your husband was not prepared, and he doesn’t have the understanding and orientation you have when it comes to handling a baby. So, be sure to help him as much as you can to be more patient in handling a crying baby.
5 Tips for Helping Your Husband to Be More Patient Handling a Crying a Baby
1. Give Him the Space to Learn
Sometimes, the best way to learn how to figure out a solution is to try out the challenge on your own. So, you can give him and the crying baby some space as he tries to figure out what works.
This could be tempting because you do not want to leave your baby around someone who feels angered by the crying. This is why I always advise that you talk out things with your spouse. Your decision to give them some space should be something you have discussed and are willing to experiment with.
2. Build Up His Confidence with Appraisal
You should always compliment your husband’s connection with your baby. Even if it is way below what you expect from him, make him feel he is doing so much.
Easy wins help build people’s confidence, and you will see that they want to put in more effort and do more. The more his confidence around your baby increases, the more he will become calmer and less irritated around the crying baby.
3. Teach Him Everything You Know
Do not be selfish with your skills and tricks. For example, teach your husband all you know about making a crying baby calm. When you do, you will be happier for it, and you will have more time on your hands.
You can save him the stress of learning on his own how to make a crying baby calm – which may make him more frustrated. So, please give him a helping hand and teach him the way to go. Trust me when I say, ‘you will be happy you did.’
4. Seek His Opinions
Let us face it, you are the more experienced one here, but do not always make it too obvious. Even when you know what to do, always bring him into parenting and care for your baby by always asking his opinions—men like it when they are depended upon for advice and knowledge.
So, massage his ego by seeking his opinion on how best to manage your crying baby and how to keep her happy at all times. This worked wonders for me. I am positive it will work for you too.
5. Allow Your Husband to Feed the Baby
A baby is often more comfortable around a parent that feeds them. So, from time to time, allow your husband to feed the baby. However, you must be sure to give him the necessary training on feeding the baby before you allow him to feed her unsupervised.
Even if your baby is on breast milk, and not a formula, you can pump your breast milk into a bottle and allow your husband to feed the baby. This will help to create a strong bond between your husband and the baby.
Also, because he is used to feeding the baby, calming the baby will become natural to him. The baby will become more responsive to him, and calmer around him.