One lie to your parents can lead to another in a bid to cover up a previous lie, and this is one reason you need to put a stop to lying. Read through our guide on how to stop lying to your parents to learn more.
Lying is a quick but short way to escape consequences. At least, that’s what everyone thinks just before telling lies. Unfortunately, lying never solves the problem. It appears as a quick getaway, yes, but your one lie would most definitely lead to many other lies. With time, you could get stuck in the habit that even when you try to stop, you would find yourself struggling to do this.
Every time you lie to your parents, you actually break their hearts. It’s like a sign that you do not trust them enough. Most people who tell lies do not intend to do so, pressure and fear of consequences are what leads to this action.
Regardless of your reasons behind lying, there are honest ways to work around every situation. You do not have to keep lying to your parents. This article would help you get over the habit.
Is It Okay To Lie To Your Parents?
From whatever angle you look at this, lying to your parents can never be okay. Lying breeds distrust on so many levels. It locks your parents out and makes it difficult for them to help or connect with you. It kind of creates a wall between you and your parents.
You do not have to wallow in guilt if you feel bad for lying. All you have to do is take measures to change your ways and correct the habit.
Many people believe that lying is when you say something that is untrue. This is the most common kind of lie people tell but it can be different. When you withhold vital information from your parents or allow them to assume what is not, that’s lying too.
Lying always attracts consequences so it can never be okay. While it might help you get away with certain things, the effects often outweigh whatever positive you might think it brings.
What Happens When You Lie To Your Parents (Consequences)
One lie looks like it would solve all the issues that cause you trouble at the moment but this comes at a huge price. The following are some of the grave consequences of telling lies.
1. It Makes Your Parents Trust You Less
As humans, we are all intuitive on different levels. To a large extent, we rely on the things people tell us to understand their situations. This is how we bond with them too. When you tell your parents a lot of lies, it distresses them mentally. They would not know what to believe and what not to. You might tell a lie today and months from now, say something true. It would leave them wondering which of the two narratives is correct.
When this behavior persists, their trust in you shrinks, and you know trust can be very fragile. If you break their trust in you consistently, you might never be able to repair your relationship with them as this is the driving force behind every relationship.
2. It Dents Your Image and Character
The moment you get comfortable telling your parents lies, it becomes easy to lie to everyone else. Soon, you would get caught up in the web of your lies and might not be able to lie out of the situation. This would affect the trust everyone around you has in you.
When no one trusts you enough to vouch for you, you may miss big opportunities. Your friends will be wary of nominating you for certain positions. Teachers would be scared of giving recommendations. Even your parents will not be comfortable with referring you to their friends and acquaintances when the need arises. Lying creates a kind of stigma that hovers around you long after you tell the lie.
3. Lying Is Not Always A Pass
The pressure from admitting your mistakes looks so heavy and you feel like lying is the way out. It’s funny but after lying, the mess you were scared of will still surround you. Most of the time, it just aggravates the situation.
You would feel like you can get to the bottom of every situation with a lie. With such scenarios playing out in your head, weighing the consequences will not occur to you. And, whenever your lies fail to rescue you, you would be in more trouble compared to if you had just told the truth.
4. It Puts You Through A Lot Of Stress
Have you told a chain of lies before? What felt like one lie would do the trick graduated into something bigger right before your eyes. You start racking your brain to come up with a bunch of more lies to cover your tracks. And, if the lies end up rescuing you, you start living like a thief.
Almost all the time, you would have to watch your back. The truth cannot emerge come what may, so you come up with backup lies in anticipation of when the topic comes up again.
5. Lying Worsens The Situation
Your parents would forgive you if you admit you were wrong. In school or with your friends, telling the truth eases the heat. Even after the first lie, everyone is still ready to forgive. But, after so many lies, everyone becomes pissed. They would be angry at the fact that you have done something wrong, and double angry knowing you tried to cover up instead of telling the truth. At this point, very few people still have the strength to forgive you, talk more of giving you another shot at regaining their trust.
6. It Makes You Lose Great Friendships
There would be times your friends would invite you to come to hang out with them or your parents would ask you to do something. No doubt, some of these requests would be inconvenient. Many people chose to tell lies and run away from the situation instead of saying the truth.
The problem with such lies is, the other party will end up finding out the truth. It becomes too late to admit what the issue at hand was. Explanations given at this point carry no weight. This would create a serious gap between you and your parents or friends.
How To Stop Lying To Your Parents
Every time you have to choose between being honest and dishonest, choose to be honest. Dishonesty may bring short-term gains but long-term trouble while honesty brings short-term trouble and long-term gains. Virtually everyone has been in this stage of being caught up in lies. Below are easy tips to help you get over your habit of lying and tell your parents the truth at all times.
1. Think Your Lie Through Properly
In the heat of the moment, lying could happen impulsively. Try to detach from the situation and think your lie through. Weigh the consequences that come with it. Open your mind to seeing the areas your lie would not be able to hide. Remember the stress one lie is likely to put you through.
2. Visualize Getting Caught
Just thinking the situation through is not enough. Make sure you understand this can become your reality in a short space of time. If your parents had punished you for lying before, they would be more disappointed to know you have not changed.
Think about the outcomes carefully. Note the ways you can turn the situation in your favor. This is not a go-ahead to test out your manipulation skills. It’s more like pleading guilty in court. Admit your mistake, let your parents know how you feel, try to make the situation better.
3. Point Out Your Triggers
Every lie that has been told was probably propelled by a trigger. These triggers disappear after the deed is done. Map out ways you can get what you want from your parents without having to tell a lie. Common examples might be lying about dating someone your parents would never approve of.
Schedule a conversation with your parents where you can air your views and let them understand how you feel. Tell them how their approach to some matter makes you feel alienated. There is a likelihood the conversation would not yield results immediately but it would after a while. This requires patience and clear communication skills. You can use this approach for other matters too.
4. Talk To Your Parents About Your Habit
While trying to mend your ways, it is best to be as sincere and open as possible. Talk to your parents about your lying habit. Tell them you want to stop lying. Admit that all the lies you have told put a strain on your relationship with them.
Sometimes, parents are the triggers behind the lies their children tell. It could be that your parents do not handle matters related to them in the best way possible. It might be their manner of approach to issues at hand. If your parents are the kind of people that overreact to things, you all can think of ways to relate better with each other.
Start with giving up one lie. The next time something happens and you feel like telling a lie, hold yourself back and say the truth. Take note of what happens.
Most of the time, telling the truth makes the situation better but if it gets worse, take note of your parents’ reaction. Think back and try to jot down how they react each time you tell the truth. Compare it to their reaction when you tell a lie. If their reaction to the situation is more peaceful when you lie to them, they might be subconsciously enabling the lies you tell. This does not mean you should blame the lies you tell on them. Instead, discuss your observations and let them know you would need their support to stay truthful.
If you have been lying to everyone, you can start by telling the truth to your colleagues in school, then your acquaintances and friends. Take note of everyone’s reactions as well as your triggers. Understand how you felt and why you felt that way before and after saying the truth. Paying attention to your patterns will help you stay true to this path even when it becomes challenging to do so. It also helps you come face to face with your triggers so that you can easily address them.
6. Admit You Have Erred Whenever You Tell a Lie
Making a huge change like abandoning a habit is not as simple as it sounds. You could put in a lot of effort and still discover you are not being consistent with telling the truth. Whenever these habits, do not beat yourself up. Walk up to your parents and admit you lied then tell them the truth.
But, be prepared to see their disappointed faces especially when you all have agreed you will give up the habit. Keep telling the truth afterward and when you slip, retrace your steps and tell the truth again. Continuing this way will help you get used to being truthful. Lying will soon become a thing of the past.
7. Manage Stress Effectively
Feelings of overwhelm can push you to do the wrong things. Life can get very busy and stressful so try to manage your stress levels properly. It’s easier to return to old habits when your stress levels are high.
Consider taking yoga and meditation classes with a licensed teacher. Incorporate this activity into your routine. Simple things like walking, watching a movie, reading a good book, and even breathing exercises can help calm your mind, lower your blood pressure and clear your head.
You could also take time management classes or visit a time management coach. Plan your activities and time wisely.
Keeping a log of all the lies you have told is a great way to program yourself to permanently do away with this habit. Read through your diary or journal at intervals of time. You would realize that all the lies you had been telling were quite petty and unnecessary.