Many parents and caregivers have complained, ‘my baby makes me too aggressive.’ It is always a cause for concern because the next question that follows is – what do I do?
Aggression is a normal human emotion, and it can be triggered by anyone – including your baby. But you need to control your aggression level so that it doesn’t affect your baby. The scary thing about aggression is that the next one is often worse than the last.
So, you need to put yourself under control, if not for anything else, but for the sake of your baby. Here, we will discuss all you need to know about what to do when your baby makes you aggressive.
My baby Makes Me Too Aggressive – How Do I Control It?
What Causes Aggression?
Simply put, aggression is the reaction the body undergoes when you feel insulted or taken for granted. During the process, your muscles tighten, you release increased adrenaline, and your heart rate increases.
In some cases, it also causes your blood pressure to increase. So, you see what a small shot of aggression can cause? First, however, we need to note that aggression can also be triggered as a result of a medical condition or hormone deficiency in the brain.
Regardless of the reason, aggression should be controlled at all costs, especially when it involves a baby. If your baby makes you aggressive, then this is the right article for you.
Aggressive Parenting Symptoms
When a parent or caregiver lacks effective parenting skills, they tend to become aggressive without even knowing it. This can lead to a lot of damage because it may give you short-term control over your kids. But in the long run, you are doing a lot of damage.
When you are an aggressive parent to your kids, you are arming them with the wrong tools to cope as adults. So, you need to be cautious of symptoms that show aggressive parenting.
Below, we have outlined a few symptoms that prove aggressive parenting. If you see any of the symptoms which relate to you currently, you need to take caution.
10 Symptoms of Aggressive Parenting
1. Excessive Reprimanding
It is normal to scold your child for something wrong they have done. But you have to make sure you do not do it to the extent of making your child feel worthless. Excessive reprimanding can have a negative effect on a child and even make them more hardened. If your child has apologized or feels remorse for what they did, do not scold them any further.
2. Withholding Parental Affection or Care
If you notice that you tend to deprive your child of parental affection or care anytime they do something that offends you, it is a sign of aggressive parenting. You owe your child parental affection and care. It is not supposed to be a reward for good behavior.
3. Disciplining Your Child in Public
Children do not like to be scolded or disciplined in public. So, if you find yourself scolding or hitting your child in public because of a mistake or wrongdoing, it is a red flag. It shows that you are slipping towards aggressive parenting, and you need to take caution.
4. Comparing Your Kid to Others
Train your child on the way to go, and be a role model for them to follow. You should never make the mistake of comparing them to other kids whom you feel they should emulate. Apart from the fact that kids do not like comparison with their peers, it is a sign of aggressive parenting.
5. Using Criticizing and Derogatory Tone
When speaking to a child, you need to be careful not to use a derogatory tone. Always speak to children with love and concern whether the child does something wrong or not. How you speak to a child goes a long way to building a connection with them. Also, children tend to listen and obey people who they have a connection with, and respect.
6. Nursing a Grudge
Why on earth should you nurse a grudge against your kid? If you notice that you tend to nurse a grudge anytime your kid does something to offend you, it is a sign that you are exhibiting symptoms of aggressive parenting. When you nurse a grudge against them, you will be unable to play the role of a parent in their lives.
7. Withholding Advice
Under no circumstance should you withhold advice from your kids. Giving advice and guiding your kids is a duty of a parent, and you should never get angry to the point of withholding advice.
It is a sign of aggressive parenting when you notice that you want your children to learn lessons the hard way.
8. Not Proud of Your Kids
When you notice that you are no longer proud of your kid, it is a sign that you are an aggressive parent. It shows that there is something you are angry about and unable to forgive the child for. If you see yourself dissociating from any link that you are his/her parent, take caution. You are an example of an aggressive parent.
9. Losing Hope and Confidence
Have you ever felt like losing hope or confidence? Or probably you feel like giving up on your dreams of what you aim for them to become in the future? If you have ever felt this way, it is a sign that you are gradually becoming an aggressive parent.
You should never be tired of supporting your kids and encouraging them to improve. This is your primary responsibility, and you should never substitute it for anything else.
10. Not Being Available for Your Kid
If you deprive your kid of your time to punish him or her, it is a sign of aggressive parenting. You must always create time to interact and play with your kid, no matter their behavior. Building a strong connection with them is the only way you can have a chance of making them better.
READ ALSO: How to Handle Out Of Control Child
How to Control Parental Aggression Towards Children
As a parent or caregiver who possesses traits of aggression towards a child, you need to make conscious efforts to put the behavior under control.
Let’s face it, aggression does not build overnight, so it is not something you can overcome overnight. Instead, you need to work on it and take one step at a time. The trick is to do everything in love and continue to look at your child in love.
Below, we have highlighted some tips that can help you control parental aggression towards children.
10 Tips to Control Parental Aggression towards Children
- Make sure you put the happiness of your children first
- Do not interrupt them when they are complaining
- Always listen to them and offer helpful advice
- Apologize to them anytime you make a mistake or an error
- See yourself as their role model to become better adults
- Teach and correct them by your actions, not by your words
- When they make a mistake, talk to them about it
- Never nurse a grudge or anger against your child
- Address issues after you are calm and relaxed
- Always explain your actions and the reasons behind them
Sound of Baby Crying Makes You Angry? Here’s What to Do
There is nothing to be ashamed of if the sounds of a baby crying make you angry. You are not the only one who feels this way, and there are ways you can remedy the situation.
Below, we have highlighted some tips on how to handle the situation effectively and experience good results.
4 Steps to Take if Sounds of Baby Crying Makes You Angry
1. Be Calm and Take a Deep Breath
If you are in such a position, your adrenaline levels will increase whenever you hear the baby crying. In such a situation, the first thing to do is to take a deep breath. When you do this, you have brought the situation under control and prepared yourself to take the necessary actions.
All you need to do at that moment is to close your eyes and imagine something that will help to calm down your nerves.
2. You Should Take a Break
You may need to take a break at this point, but first, make sure the baby’s needs are met. If the baby is crying out of hunger, feed the baby. If the baby is experiencing discomfort, make the baby comfortable.
Then set the baby down in a safe place and take a short break, maybe to the bathroom or the balcony, to let out some steam.
3. Do Not Be Too Hard On Yourself
Yes, it can be overwhelming when you think of the scenario and how it makes you look. No, you are not a wicked mother, and you need to take it easy on yourself.
No mother knows it all, and we all make mistakes and struggle along the way. Being hard on yourself can make matters worse. So, you need to understand that this is a process, and you will handle it just fine.
4. Contact a Professional
In a situation where you have tried all the tips, and nothing seems to be working, you should seek professional help. Do not panic. There is nothing more to it; it is just a conversation with someone who can provide more tips on how you can better handle the situation.